Monkey Knife Fight - Emmaus, Pennsylvania - Cycling

The Monkey Knife Fight is a Cycling race in Emmaus, Pennsylvania consisting of a Recreational Event.

Celebrating the toughest, gnarliest, steepest, brutalest, ridiculousest roads you'll ever ride while raising money to help terminally-ill kids, Monkey Knife Fight Against Cancer, with 3 distinct ride length options, all with lots of climbing over the dirty hills south of Emmaus, PA. Encouraged by Funk Brewing Company.

Proceeds benefit Dream Come True, who fulfill the dreams of kids with a life-threatening illness or an illness that has significantly altered their lifestyle. We are lucky to spend a great day out on a bike, so let's help kids who aren't so lucky have great days, too!

THIS IS NOT A RACE It's a charity ride. Which also means no refunds, so consider using BikeReg's registration insurance. Transfers are allowed. You can do that through BikeReg.

WHAT TO KNOW This is not a race! It is a social ride, because misery does love company. Most of it is paved, with dirt road sectors that are as sharp as any knife you'd ever find on a monkey. It will be marked, cue sheets will be provided and GPS files will be available, so you don't need to keep up with those who keep a hard tempo going. And there are options to make the course shorter (and avoid some of the truly brutal climbs).

THREE ROUTES TO CHOOSE FROM Check out the routes to see what you're in for. Just don't poke yourself in the eye looking at all the pointy bits on the elevation profile. These routes are subject to change, so don't upload them to your devives until right before.

GORILLA: 75 miles and 8 categorized climbs
BABBOON: 50 miles and 5 categorized climbs
MARMOSET: 30 miles and 1 categorized climb (but still plenty of climbing!)
START/FINISH LOCATION: Emmaus Community Park. With plenty of parking and easy access to the route we have finally found our permanent home (for now).

AID STATION LOCATIONS There are 2 aid stations, which you can go by multiple times (or chill out at while others make loops).

1. The Coffee & Beer Oasis which you'll go by 2 times. The first time is the first aid station of the day, where the Paul Bellin espresso machine will be in full effect. The second time is your last aid station, where the Lampe family will have some beers to toast your efforts. Note that this is the only aid station for the Marmosets (who also go by it twice).

2. The St. John Hill Church parking lot which you'll go by up to 3 times. There will be lots of snacks, hydration, facilities in the church and friendly faces galore. You can put some things in a car at the start that you'd want to have at the rest stop. Likewise you can dump some stuff in the car to be driven back to the finish. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE for any of that stuff. Mark it well. Remember to get it at the finish or it will get donated. Don't expect a lift back if you're tired. If you're cooked at the stop, consider skipping a categorized climb (or 2, or 3). It's still a healthy ride back to Emmaus from there.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU Carry what you need if you have a mechanical. You will be expected to fix your own flats and do minor repairs. No follow vehicles or outside support vehicle of any type will be allowed as it is unsafe to have a caravan of vehicles following the ride. Sorry, not sorry.

I CAN WIN A PRIZE? BUT YOU SAID THIS IS NOT A RACE!!! True, but we are going to have some swaglicious stuff available to win at the post-party. Here's how it works...

You will get a raffle ticket at the start AND at various points out on your ride. Maybe at the top of a categorized climb. Maybe at a rest stop. Who knows where they'll be?!?! Surprises are fun!
At the post-party you can designate which prize(s) you want to try and win. You must be present to win, and we'll have prizes being raffled off randomly throughout the post-party!
WAIT, DID YOU SAY POST-PARTY?!?! Yep. Everyone's welcome to chill out at the start/finish will open up for a gathering of our tired souls. Funk beers on tap and you can have some if you buy the fundraiser pint glass (order one when you register)! And there will be a couple food trucks to fill your hungry souls.